• Wendy Bradfield

When You Lose Your Power to Love, How Do You Get it Back?

Updated: Jul 1, 2021

Romantic love uplifts you, but it can also drain you



Love is my favorite verb. It's an infinite power source. Romantic love is like a deep trance state. It disarms you, and the entire world drops away. When I’m in love, every activity, thought, and gesture stems from it.

Ahh, to swim in the sea of love is divine.

I can fall in love in 2 weeks or less. My expert record is 11 days. Okay, 7.

Love ensnares you into a realm that you can’t exit because it possesses you fully. Love intoxicates you as you glide through the day. Everything is poetic. When you daydream, you are Venus herself, or perhaps Eros.

I fold in the face of love. Sometimes I forget I’m human, living on an Earthly plane. How can you function in this space? It's difficult because mundane matters never cease to tug at you. Can you reclaim your power if you lose it to romantic love?


If you use love like a drug, should you quit?

Love is a lot like food, you have to eat it, but it takes discipline if you have a toxic relationship. Like food, it's a basic human need, and also like food — it’s energy. When you consume too much food, you are lethargic. When you, or at least I, consume too much love, other areas are neglected. Life becomes like a mosquito, an irritation. Before long, I can’t remember who I am, apart from love. There goes my power.

Can you reclaim your power in a love union?

The only way I’ve been able to reclaim my power in romantic love is to turn away from it and reclaim myself. It's deceptively easy to forget you are a whole being — with or without another.

Although we’re good at making ourselves feel like it, we are not what or who we love. I can still fall in love any day of the week. It's my superpower. But there is another superpower worth cultivating, and it’s shockingly more powerful than romantic love. Drumroll — Self-love.

It’s the most powerful and elusive elixir known to humankind. It's so valuable that many humans don’t bother to look for it!

Treasure, in my backyard, you say? Nah, no way


Self-love is a path. It’s a wonder more humans aren’t curious about it. It doesn’t end when you discover a few nuggets. The longer you trek, the more it grows. The more you receive, the less you seek outside of yourself for your “other half.”

No one completes you. But many would rather seek without for what’s a tumultuous journey within. It’s a romantic fantasy that’s easy and fun to play with until it's over. There it is — the precipice of death, rebirth, and a big decision to make.

Are you going to embrace your solitude?

What’s on the other side of that mystery? It's another dimension of love. The love you give to others is different from the love you give yourself.

The love you give yourself is a gift only you can give and receive. It's how you reclaim your power after you lost it to love. It’s the alpha and the omega.

Within you is a sacred universe in which you get to world-build every day. The landscape here can’t be ripped away from you.

This is a place you want to be

Stay for a while, don’t move too quick. Nourish yourself. Within is where you regenerate and grow your power back.

When you're ready, you can go back into the world and fall in love any day of the week. But this time is different. You discover a totally new dimension of love. Not one that depletes your reserves but expands them.

Peel back a layer of yourself to share with the world and reclaim your power. This is the place you want to be.

If you are into this, you might really be into 10 Revelations About the Single Life From a Committed Relationship Junkie.


Writers need coffee! I need coffee strong enough to wake up my ancestors! You can buy me one here if you enjoy my scribblings! Woohoo!



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