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  • Writer's pictureWendy Bradfield

10 Revelations About Single Life From a Committed Relationship Junkie

Updated: Jul 1, 2021

I have converted to singledom

Being single takes more commitment than a full-blown relationship. The bizarre thing about being single is the untold benefits — they are astonishing.

I am no longer a relationship junkie.

The eye-opening truth about choosing to stay single: It takes just as much work as being in a relationship — maybe more. You may think it’s easier than the daily compromises we make in a conventional union, but you’d be wrong.

You are more mysterious to figure out than you think.

But wait — don’t let that scare you away!

The truth about the single life is . . . singledom rocks! It’s like a secret waterfall amid the Amazon rainforest — untouched — all for you.

You are the actor, director, and producer, which means your personal power just tripled.

If you decide to embrace your newfound solo role — you will discover bewildering growth. And I dare say contentment.

I’ve been single for three years, and these are my revelations . . .

Let’s start with the practical rewards

1. Free vacation

You don’t have to clean up after anyone. Um, hello? This is HUGE. What a joy! You don’t realize it until they’re gone, but holy sh*%— it’s AMAZING. It’s like a free vacation. Spectacular.

2. Procuring sustenance

You can eat what you want. It’s that simple. Figuring out what to eat when you’re a couple is an endless hassle. Healthy, not healthy. Meat, vegetarian. Vegan? Not likely, unless they are too. This is a royal pain in the rumpus, and you know it. Tack on to that they may not even cook at all! Ugh! Those days are gone.

3. Shopping — Wish, here I come!

You can buy it without justification. Go for it. Buy the Nicolas Cage leggings. Buy the horse head mask too. Do what makes you happy. No one is going to make you feel bad about it. Ahhh, yes.

Getting serious

4. Tis’ an art and science

It’s harder to stay single than you think. The truth about choosing to remain single is it’s an active process. Set your goal and stick to it. If you intend to be single for one year, commit. Wake up and say, “Hey self! What are we doing today? We are staying single! Yesss!” Yes, to you, nope to them. It’s called commitment, babe, wink.

5. Sex and temptation

Staying single is like being a vegan when you live for chicken shawarma — nearly impossible to resist, at first. But then you say no to shawarma a few times, and it gets easier. But how can you go without sex? Staying single is also like giving up Amazon Prime. In the beginning, it hurts — then you’re like, oh, I see. It’s time to explore other options.

6. ROI

If you’re not investing in an outside relationship, invest within — it is a colossal opportunity many people fail to see or take. Since my last breakup, I’ve obtained another degree, lost 44 pounds, became vegan, quit drinking, and achieved my dream of becoming a full-time writer. My ex made a habit of telling me it isn’t normal to want time alone because he didn’t. Umm, okay. I haven’t been this content in years.

Long-term commitment

7. The longer you’re single, the more your desire grows to stay single. Wait, what?

If you embrace unchartered territory — Earth-shattering sh*% happens. You grow more proactive and robust. When you put your relationship with yourself first, you change in monumental ways.

8. Change your habits because it’s easier now

Your habits are easier to change and goals more realistic to meet. Plainly put, without having to consider someone else, it’s easier to change. Two of my exes said they shared my goals and then defaulted. People are quickly swept up into others’ grand plans, but often they only want to be a part of something bigger. You can do it without them.

9. Self-awareness and trust, yes, please

Your decision-making process grows attuned the more you trust yourself. When you are the sole decision-maker, it’s easier to refine what works and what doesn’t. In the process, your trust magnifies, and your self-confidence is fortified.

10. You are an influencer

Your relationship with yourself is put on blast. It’s fascinating to witness a life by your design. You don’t realize how much a mate influences your decisions until you are single.

In the end

Staying single for a time is a pact you make with yourself — to heal the broken bits and peel back a new layer of yourself.

When the opportunity of singledom arrives — take it — with zeal.

Staying single on purpose is a road many people avoid and discourage. But what they don’t tell you is that there is a great power on the craggy path of the “unknown you.”

Your investment in you can be neither be overestimated nor undone.

It’s a forever gain.

If you’re willing to take the plunge, you will find a glorious oasis waiting for you. Go ahead, convert. It’s curiously intoxicating.

Writers need coffee! I need coffee strong enough to wake up my ancestors! You can buy me one here if you enjoy my scribblings! Woohoo!


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